How I became a published author #2

The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me



 Excerpt #24


One of the biggest achievements of my life was being in Spirit and Destiny Magazine (2017). I was featured in an article, entitled: ‘My Mentor’ – which was about how Bella influenced me after her death. I love the article, because the photos are lovely. They show me singing, dancing and at the National Cat Centre, working.

The article honoured Bella and celebrated my life. I remember being nervous at the interview, but I spoke honestly about how I felt Bella had helped me. It’s amazing that so many people  have read it.

My Literary Consultant ( said that famous writers wait their whole life for a Feature article and I had achieved it relatively early on in my writing career.

I will carry on being creative until the day I die. I love where I am now and I enjoy being in the present.


In 2017 my book of poems called ‘Beauty and Truth’ was published. These are mainly poems I have written my entire life and it is amazing to have positive feedback from people. My aunt bought it on Kindle, kept it with her and loved it.

I have found writing to be a passion that I could never stop. I find that it gets edited by In-Scribe in a way that makes it professional. There is, I am sure, still an amazing journey to come, as you never know what will happen in the future.  Life is good.

I have an amazing website and thousands of followers on Facebook. I also have hundreds of friends. I got into Instagram because of my dad’s advice; my Instagram following is growing every day.

If I am not creating, I am seeing friends or going to the cinema… or feeding a cat. I believe life is what you make of it; it cannot be anything else. From a distant dream, comes a life of creativity and worth. Even if I am cleaning a litter tray, I am happy.

Eurythmy will always be a part of me, but alas I might have to let it go. I have learned to be positive by filling my life with wonderful things. And that has got to be a life worth living.

I have literally danced into this next part of my life – and am so grateful to be having such wonderful experiences.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.



How I became a published author #1

The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me



Excerpt #23


In February, 2013, my one goal was to be a published author.

I sent a message to In-Scribe and got a reply asking me to email over my manuscript for, Grace. A few days went by and I was racked by nerves, I just could not bring myself to send it. I had not shown it to anyone. I was worried that the subject matter was just too controversial.

I was working when I received another message:

“I so much look forward to reading your work,” and there was a smiley face at the end. Then I remember a dream I had: I dreamt that In-Scribe was the right place to send it.

A few days go by and I do not check my emails, when finally I do, In-Scribe’s email is headed: “Your lovely work”.

All my doubts are put to rest as I read the email. The Consultant tells me I am a talented writer and the book is very emotional. (In-Scribe is a Literary Consultancy, helping books to get noticed.)

Over the next two weeks, I have an exciting time. I get to choose Grace’s front cover and decide on a bird image. I also get a website designed and, before I know it, my book is on Amazon and anyone can buy it.

It is amazing the energy that is put into it and it is a real achievement to get it published. I start promoting it on my Facebook page. There is also a Press Release to send to the media and to MBS and psychology magazines. I am in a heady state of mind and enjoy the process.

My dad orders twenty copies! He tells me that he cried at the book. My friend also buys it and loves it.

One month passes and my Kindle sales are steady, plus, lots of my dad’s friends buy it and say it made them more compassionate. I am still proud of the fact that I got it published. It is amazing that anyone can still buy the book and, even to this day, I have constant sales.


Towards the end of the year, I receive a five-year award for my voluntary work as a reflexologist at the cancer clinic. There are some wonderful things that happen this year. I never believed I could actually write a book and get it published. I start straightaway on another book of short stories.

I love writing and expressing myself in the written word. Along with singing and music, it is my great passion.

In 2014, Grace gathers publicity. I get into my local newspaper and on Sussex and Surrey Radio. It was an amazing experience.

I also got into ‘Your Cat’ magazine with a double-page feature on Indy. Now that he has died, I get to keep his memory alive forever. I am so privileged that I got to be in this magazine. The interviewer was very kind and I have never spoken so honestly to a stranger before, about everything that happened. From the dark days to how Indy helped me recover and how cats do not hold stigmas – and that was the beauty of it.

I found I was a natural talking about my experiences and I felt compelled to help other people. It was like it was all meant to be.

In 2014, I published another book called ‘Under the Ivy’. It was mainly short stories with a spiritual undertone.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.


Back to performing…

The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me



Excerpt #22



I am to start to have piano lessons again and am very excited about it. It looks like the piano is going to be part of my life once again. I’d love to play in front of my dad who loves my playing.

This really focuses my attention in a positive way.  It is all aimed at enjoying my life and it will also be good for my mind and spirit too. I am very much looking forward to getting stuck into new pieces.

I have been on a long journey with my music. I began composing in my teens and this gradually improved by my twenties. I had piano and singing lessons in my twenties. I used to perform at the College, when I was training, but my voice has come a long way since then.

When I was 31, I joined a music development place. I performed in showcases, went to music seminars and I enjoyed that being part of my life, for a while. I played at the Spice of Life quite a lot, too.

The happiest I have been musically speaking is when I did some professional gigs in Holborn and Tower Bridge. Also at the Brighton Fringe Festival.

At Tower Bridge, there was a white grand piano and microphone and it sounded so good. That had to be the best performance I have ever done. I’m now performing regularly in Brighton.

I just need to express myself and enjoy the process. It is definitely my unique form of expression.


About a year and a half ago, I contacted an old school friend on Facebook. We had not seen each other since we were doing our ‘A’ levels, but I thought it would be good to have a reunion.

Straight away we realised we lived near each other, and it was easy to meet. We met in a nearby café and have now become good friends.


As I write these words, I feel so very open about my future. My life eventually carried on, through the darkness – and I found my way into  the light… life was to give me incredible riches  –  and for that I am grateful.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.


My cat, Lily…

The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me



Excerpt #21



I find voluntary work very rewarding and fulfilling. For a start it is a way of contributing to the community. At 31, I started volunteering as a reflexologist in a cancer clinic. It really was an eye opener and made me see life in a different way. I felt close to tears while working with some of the clients. All I could do was be kind and offer support.

Volunteering can really make a difference and help gain a different perspective in life. Giving time for a cause is truly wonderful.

Eurythmy gave me such a purpose in my life and it was hard to replace that for a long time. Volunteering took me away from my personal troubles and made me a more caring and loving person. After six years, I decided to stop and try something else, so I volunteered for the National Cat Adoption Centre. There, I clean out litter trays and clean the outside area. I love the coffee they sell in the café!

Voluntary work has given me an opportunity to add colour to my life and to be happy in the present moment again.

I love the National Cat Adoption Centre because it is working with one general aim to look after cats until they get homes – most of them do in the end. There are loads of cats needing homes, so this place does a great service to them. I always feel so good doing voluntary work. I believe it is good for the soul and has been great for my wellbeing, since I started doing it.

After I lost my cat, Indy, I adopted a new cat from the Centre (I have written a whole other book about this experience.) It was a pleasure to get my Lily – a tortoiseshell cat. When I think about giving another cat a home, it makes me feel happy, and I know Indy would be happy, too.

I do believe part of my mission is to help cats. Losing Indy to cancer was traumatic and I will miss him for the rest of my life, but I believe he is watching over me now.

Sometimes life is all about change. We have to accept the changes that come and sometimes they are difficult to deal with.

I have decided that I will always have a cat in my life. The fact that I have brought happiness to Lily makes me feel so good. When I lost Indy, I missed buying cat food and feeding a cat in the morning. I found it devastating not having a cat and my mum convinced me to get another cat straightaway.

Lily has started connecting with me now and I love her company; she is full of joy and wonder. I love the feeling I have when I pick her up. It is pure bliss. Lily is part of my life in a very real way. I do not know her past, but I bet it wasn’t as good as it is now.

She has got used to her new home now and I have got used to the transition. I am proud to be a pet parent again. Cats are incredible animals and are so sensitive to your feelings. When you are having a rough day, they always help.

Lily is such an easy cat to have. She is independent and affectionate at the same time.

I am so blessed to have her in my life. She wakes me up in the morning, sometimes… you just can’t get the staff these days!

Lily is an independent and feisty cat, and very sweet at the same time. She goes out and has her little adventures, but she is great company, too.

Cats bring me a sense of calm and peace.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.


My life now…


The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me


Excerpt #20



It was a real setback when I realised there was no school in London anymore. I tried some classes for a couple of years, but found them too basic. On the one hand, it was nice to dance again, and on the other hand, I missed doing it at the level I had danced at before. I did some rod exercises, some simple forms and some music eurythmy on a Sunday, but all the time I missed Bella. She was unique and nothing was ever going to change that. All the time I hoped to bump into Haydn, but I never did. It was a false hope.

Why could I not accept the past was over and I had to move on from it?

In 2015, there was something that happened that gave me hope, but hope can sometimes trip you up. I wanted to teach and perform like I used to, and one day I thought this was all going to change. I did not expect it, but was it worth getting my hopes up again?

In this year, I moved to a beautiful top floor maisonette flat and I made a couple of new friends. I also started volunteering at the National Cat Adoption Centre. I kept thinking about eurythmy and whether I should go back into it. After I settled into my flat, I decided to go to a class and there was no one else there. I was amazed when the teacher asked if I wanted to be in the stage group. I said I would love to, and she said she would email me. Everyday I went on my phone, waiting for an email, and she did not send me one. So… I decided to email her. She then emailed to say they were not ready to take new people on. I thought that was wrong, after having asked me. I burst into tears and kept thinking eurythmy just is not right for me anymore. I also applied for a teaching job in London and did not hear anything back, from that application.

I was by now so fed up with the sense of rejection I felt whenever I came into the Steiner world. I went to see the Festival for the Dead that I was supposed to be in and was so unhappy that I left without giving a donation. I saw going back into the stage group as a real opportunity that was then lost. I sometimes don’t understand how I had achieved so much when I was young, and then had it all taken away from me. I have lost the faith to do it the way I used to do it and I have found other things in my life that have replaced eurythmy.

I do think Bella would have wanted me in the stage group and it all went to pot when she died. I think I am not accepted because what of happened in the past, but I just don’t know. But there are new things in my life now and plenty to live for.

However, the new flat was amazing. It was newly painted, with a plush bathroom and kitchen.

Lily has settled in really well now. She has her own cat flap! I rescued her… but, more importantly, she rescued me.

Feeling good is what life is all about. It is really important to live in a place where you feel comfortable, and this new place gave me a new lease of life.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.


Essays on a Theme #5: Cats and perfection


The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me


Excerpt #19


As I sleep, I remember things that are gone and moments in time that have shaped me.

Who would have thought cats would become so much a part of my life? Every day they remind me of eternity. They are so precious and perfect.

The rainbows, too, fill my life with promise and take away any traces of the dark path that lead to my light.

Look at how far I have come.

I remember fighting against myself or a shadow of myself that was dancing… now I have to let go.

Just to think of creativity makes me happy. It is without gratification, but with hope.

When I realise what I am to become, I feel happy in the knowledge that I have achieved so much.

How do I write with such fluidity?

It has become my faith and my light.

My song sings out, even though I am still afraid of it. I speak my truth in words. I get up early to travel to work and then I am smitten with a light that is impenetrable. It stays with me.

Those days were not perfect, but they made me who I am today. I learn to trust wisdom as it speaks to me in twilight images. I take my chances. I feel the cool breeze as if it is my best friend and I look on with hope in my heart.

Just writing a poem gives me joy and that is the secret. Can I last the hills of time as they haunt me? Can I pause to take a moment to see all that has happened?

I am full of joy for my new life and I do not take life too seriously anymore. I am active every day, as if I am filling my days with creative experiences. Once it was just the dancing, but now many things fill my days.

I find cats peaceful as they lead me on and I feel content with that. I am here for a purpose and that is what I know for sure. I can live my days easily knowing I am loved, am creative and fulfilled.

I have come a long way out of the shadows. If I was to know what was to come, it would break the mystery.

I am a master of my fate.

All I can do is go forward in the sure knowledge that I am taken care of. I have been in a sea of troubles as if I was led to some strange death. I have seen darkness cover me up in silence, but what I have found is that I am master of my fate. I can take as much time as I need. I have a cat protector in heaven and Bella, too.

I am master of my fate.

I have given myself time to forgive all the mistakes I have made. I recall some of the worst and best days of my life as I had to say goodbye. I was so young back then, the world was my oyster, but it actually still is. I can still live with inspiration. She inspired my whole creative life, as I never saw anyone do eurythmy like her. She is irreplaceable. The grief is healed now, but I will never stop missing her, until I see her in heaven. And there we will dance again, the way we once did. I will keep her memory close and nurture it, always.

I have built my life up again and filled it with purpose and meaning. I found photos of my youth that spring up upon me in vain. What am I to do with them, but release them…

I am allowed to miss her; she inspired me.

I see her in fleeting dreams that sometimes do not make sense to me.

I see her as having moved on and having another life without me. I see myself having to let go, but sometimes still needing her. But, I have to move on.

Twilight beckons me with all its force.

I cherish those days when I danced, yet at the time I felt I was in darkness. I have choices now. I can do anything I want.

I can look to the future with hope in my heart. I can enjoy the quiet days, while understanding everything happens for a reason.

I can write without caring where it takes me.

I was once a dancer, but now I am a woman in charge of her own destiny.

This is my one precious life.


Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.


Essays on a Theme #4: About love


The White Butterflies: Eurythmy & Me


Excerpt #18


Love is all that is needed in the world, and bad things occur when there is a lack of love.

Love makes dreams come true and love will make us all happy.

Love is at the heart of the white butterflies and eurythmy is a spiritual dance full of love.

Love is: being kind to yourself.

Love is: forgiving others.

Meditation helps quiet the mind and control our responses to the world and so does eurythmy.

Love is there in the morning and the last thing at night.

Love helps heal grief.

Love is there when the music stops.

Give love and you will receive it.

At the heart of the white butterflies is love eternal… and a new dance.

The White Butterflies is my personal story of dance tinged with hope. It shows how I soared to the heights of creativity.



Marcia Lake (c) 2017 – 2018


You can purchase Marcia Lake’s books on Amazon: Grace, Under The Ivy & Beauty and Truth: Poetry From The Heart.

Marcia Lake is on Facebook and Instagram too.